(And no, ignoring it won’t make it go away)

It starts small.
A passive-aggressive email.
A colleague that suddenly goes quiet in meetings.
A sense of tension that creeps in and lingers – unspoken, unresolved, unproductive.

Conflict in the workplace doesn’t always look like shouting matches or heated debates. More often, it’s subtle. Lingering. Disruptive in ways we don’t always measure… until we do.

 

Conflict is Costing You – Whether You See It or Not

Workplace conflict, when unmanaged, has a ripple effect. It erodes trust. Slows progress. Kills creativity. People stop sharing ideas. Stop collaborating. Start playing it safe. Productivity drops. Absenteeism rises. High-performers quietly check out – or quit.

The CPP Global Human Capital Report estimates that U.S. employees spend 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict – costing businesses $359 billion annually in paid hours. That’s billions lost to unspoken issues.

Now imagine what that looks like in South Africa, in teams already under pressure from economic uncertainty, resource constraints, and high workloads.

 

Why Most People Avoid Conflict

We’re wired to avoid discomfort. It feels easier to let things slide than to face difficult conversations. But that short-term peace often comes at the cost of long-term performance.

People avoid conflict because:

  • They fear being misunderstood or disliked
  • They weren’t taught how to have healthy confrontation
  • They assume “it’s not that big a deal”
  • They worry about damaging relationships or reputation

But here’s the truth: avoiding conflict doesn’t make it go away. It just allows it to grow in the shadows – taking productivity, engagement, and wellbeing down with it.

 

Not All Conflict is Bad

This is important: not all conflict is toxic. In fact, constructive conflict can lead to innovation, better decisions, and stronger teams.

The problem isn’t that conflict happens.
The problem is how we handle it.

In workplaces where people are coached to communicate with clarity and emotional intelligence, conflict becomes a catalyst for growth. People feel safe to disagree, challenge ideas, and give feedback – without it becoming personal or destructive.

 

Signs Conflict is Costing You

Whether you’re an employee or a leader, watch for these early warning signs:

  • Ongoing tension between team members
  • Drop in collaboration or idea sharing
  • Increased absenteeism or presenteeism
  • Gossip or side conversations
  • Unclear roles or mismatched expectations
  • Low psychological safety (people hesitate to speak up)

Left unaddressed, these symptoms deepen. And over time, they shape the culture.

 

The Coaching Advantage: Neutral Space, Real Solutions

This is where coaching quietly transforms workplace dynamics.

A coach isn’t a referee – a coach is a guide to help people:

  • Understand the root of the tension (it’s often not what it seems)
  • Separate facts from feelings
  • Develop skills for assertive, respectful communication
  • Build empathy without becoming passive
  • Rebuild trust and set healthy boundaries

Coaching creates a confidential space where people can unpack frustrations, shift perspectives, and rehearse difficult conversations before they happen.

And once people experience how good it feels to be heard, understood, and equipped – everything changes. Culture shifts. Communication opens. Performance improves.

 

What If You Started the Conversation?

If you’ve been feeling uncomfortable tension at work – whether it’s between colleagues, in your team, or even with your manager – here’s your invitation to pause and reflect:

  • What’s really at the heart of this tension?
  • What conversation have I been avoiding?
  • What impact is this having on my energy, focus, or confidence?
  • What would change if we could talk it through constructively?

You don’t need to resolve it all at once. But something has to shift. And sometimes, the best first step is simply being willing to name the discomfort – and explore what’s underneath.

Office tensions don’t resolve themselves. People do.
And with the right support, even the most strained relationships can evolve into stronger, more respectful dynamics.

Coaching isn’t about forcing peace – it’s about creating understanding.
And understanding? That’s the foundation of any great team.

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